WOW!! THIS STORY GIVES NEW MEANING TO EAT
Okay imma make this short back when I like 19 I use to mess wit this Spanish guy and well I guess that he wasn't all that experienced in the head department and well he would always tell me about how much he wanted to eat me out and amongst other things. Okay so one night after a date I decided to see if he was what he said he was and well it wasn't that good but it was cool so(back in the days it was all about nikkas eating me out) I kept him around. The next time we did it I went back to his house and one thing led to another and he started to go down on me and well I started to notice that it wasn't as good I thought it was but I learned that you never tell a guy that he sucks at shit when its pertaining to the bed room so I didn't and well he started getting rough and I guess he was getting really aroused and well he started even more rough and well he BIT ME I mean this fucker BIT THE SHIT OUTTA MY CLIT. I punched the shit outta the side of his face. After I had calmed down I asked him why did he bite me this dumb ass nikka gonna tell me "YOU SAID EAT ME". I was to done with him
GNR..NO NO BOO BOO EAT ME IS A METAPHOR ....DUDES AND SOME WOMEN YOU DONT RELLY EAT THE PUSS YOU SIMPLY NIBBLE ON IT NO TEETH ..LOL I WOULDVE PUNCHED THE SHIT OUTTA HIM TOO
Friday, July 17, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
So Emotional
All I can say is that I was SMDH while I was reading this one
I call this lil story "So Emotional"
Hey girl, Imma keep this short and sweet. Let me just tell you that a sensitive man is not always a good man to have around. I was fucking with this brother out here in D.C. Hands down this brother is sexy fine 6' 5 dark skin big dyck the works. I can't exactly remember when I met dude at but shit it didn't matter. Well when we finally got to it every thing was glory to the hallelujah up in the bed until til brother came. I tell you no lie I thought that maybe my supper time was just that damn good cause every time brother would come he would bust out in to tears I mean literally he would cry. who the fuck does that shit that's some white bitch shit crying during sex. like I said the 1st time he pulled that crying shit I was like yeah I got that ill na na but then he did it again so when I asked he tried to play it off like naw its I don't be crying. I gave him that dude get the fuck outta here look. I had to stop fucking with him cause that shit was creeping me out I didn't know if he was crying cause my shit was good or bad
like i said smdh
I call this lil story "So Emotional"
Hey girl, Imma keep this short and sweet. Let me just tell you that a sensitive man is not always a good man to have around. I was fucking with this brother out here in D.C. Hands down this brother is sexy fine 6' 5 dark skin big dyck the works. I can't exactly remember when I met dude at but shit it didn't matter. Well when we finally got to it every thing was glory to the hallelujah up in the bed until til brother came. I tell you no lie I thought that maybe my supper time was just that damn good cause every time brother would come he would bust out in to tears I mean literally he would cry. who the fuck does that shit that's some white bitch shit crying during sex. like I said the 1st time he pulled that crying shit I was like yeah I got that ill na na but then he did it again so when I asked he tried to play it off like naw its I don't be crying. I gave him that dude get the fuck outta here look. I had to stop fucking with him cause that shit was creeping me out I didn't know if he was crying cause my shit was good or bad
like i said smdh
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Great Expectations
Now all the ladies and fellas really need to read this one. This is the reason why I made this blog.
I titled this one "Great EXPECTATIONS"
OHHHH I hate a dude that talks the talk but can't walk the walk. It all started a couple of yrs ago when I met dude on the Internet though he and I went to high school together and he claimed he knew me I never knew him. Well yrs of talking to each other over the net. He would tell me about how he was the king ding-a-ling and he laid this and that girl down. Me being the freak that I am was ready able and willing to see if this was all true. SOOOOOOO! We finally decided to meet up one night, though sex wasn't on my mind I wasn't ruling it out. Well I got to his house everything was cool we sat and talked for a little while. He asked me for a kiss and i thought that it was sooo sweet and it was good i have to admit dude can kiss. So we decided to move things to to his room. That's my people is when the MAGIC happen (well at least i thought it was). We keep kissing and started undressing . LOL when dude dropped his pants all i could think about was those crayons that you get in art class back in elementary.You know them fat crayons well his dick was actual size. Can you say disappointed!!!! So we started off Missionary style.Who the fuck does that shit 1st that song virgin shit. To make matters worst dude couldn't find it. I'm not fat at all the most fat i have on me is in my ass. So how could he not find. I started thinking that maybe it was his 1st, I mean missionary position he couldn't find the hole. He asked me to ride but I told him no so he flipped me over to hit it from the back and he was complaining about my height *side note* both of us are 5'9) . Okay he finally got in it and as soon as he got in it he made a little sound which let me know that he came. In my mind I was like WTF!!. After it was over I sat and chilled with him for a little while longer than I left. We still talk and he wants to have sex again but I was traumatized from it and have yet to bring myself to tell him. And he still talks about how he did this girl and that girl I just sit back and shake my head cause I know the truth.
NO COMMENT
I titled this one "Great EXPECTATIONS"
OHHHH I hate a dude that talks the talk but can't walk the walk. It all started a couple of yrs ago when I met dude on the Internet though he and I went to high school together and he claimed he knew me I never knew him. Well yrs of talking to each other over the net. He would tell me about how he was the king ding-a-ling and he laid this and that girl down. Me being the freak that I am was ready able and willing to see if this was all true. SOOOOOOO! We finally decided to meet up one night, though sex wasn't on my mind I wasn't ruling it out. Well I got to his house everything was cool we sat and talked for a little while. He asked me for a kiss and i thought that it was sooo sweet and it was good i have to admit dude can kiss. So we decided to move things to to his room. That's my people is when the MAGIC happen (well at least i thought it was). We keep kissing and started undressing . LOL when dude dropped his pants all i could think about was those crayons that you get in art class back in elementary.You know them fat crayons well his dick was actual size. Can you say disappointed!!!! So we started off Missionary style.Who the fuck does that shit 1st that song virgin shit. To make matters worst dude couldn't find it. I'm not fat at all the most fat i have on me is in my ass. So how could he not find. I started thinking that maybe it was his 1st, I mean missionary position he couldn't find the hole. He asked me to ride but I told him no so he flipped me over to hit it from the back and he was complaining about my height *side note* both of us are 5'9) . Okay he finally got in it and as soon as he got in it he made a little sound which let me know that he came. In my mind I was like WTF!!. After it was over I sat and chilled with him for a little while longer than I left. We still talk and he wants to have sex again but I was traumatized from it and have yet to bring myself to tell him. And he still talks about how he did this girl and that girl I just sit back and shake my head cause I know the truth.
NO COMMENT
Monday, June 1, 2009
What Was That!!
LOL so far all the stories I'm getting are basically basically bashing men and they sex performances but I actually have one about a girl.. I call this one What Was That?
When I meet chick everything was perfect I decided to take it slow. She was special real cute red-bone 5'5 thick as hell. Damn she was fine! I was seriously trying to wife her, but it was just to damn perfect she had to have a flaw. Besides the fact that the bitch was crazy and some what of a stalker. She had what I called a let go problem. Just so ya'll ladies don't start hating on a brother I left her because she was crazy. Yeah so the 1st time we had sex. She gave me brains like it was no tomorrow so It was all fair that I gave her some face time. So, I'm down there doing my thing and I hear this noise.I know sometimes when you keep poking in the hole it gets air pockets and make noises it queefs. So I decided to continue, I got back in the groove and I'd be damn if it didn't happen again. But this time I asked her if she was farting and she assured me no she wasn't. I went along and started tearing that ass up from the back and it seemed like every time I went in it she would let out a sound, then I started noticing my stomach getting hot. Then what drew the line was that one of them sounded like she was starting up a engine..smelled like one too. I couldn't take it anymore my dick got soft and she got mad. I tried to fuck a couple times after that but it was the same ol' shit and it smelled like it too. My boys clowned me for months. I knew it was to good to be true besides the bitch was crazy she has a gas problem.
ROTFLMAO who farts while fucking that's disgusting
When I meet chick everything was perfect I decided to take it slow. She was special real cute red-bone 5'5 thick as hell. Damn she was fine! I was seriously trying to wife her, but it was just to damn perfect she had to have a flaw. Besides the fact that the bitch was crazy and some what of a stalker. She had what I called a let go problem. Just so ya'll ladies don't start hating on a brother I left her because she was crazy. Yeah so the 1st time we had sex. She gave me brains like it was no tomorrow so It was all fair that I gave her some face time. So, I'm down there doing my thing and I hear this noise.I know sometimes when you keep poking in the hole it gets air pockets and make noises it queefs. So I decided to continue, I got back in the groove and I'd be damn if it didn't happen again. But this time I asked her if she was farting and she assured me no she wasn't. I went along and started tearing that ass up from the back and it seemed like every time I went in it she would let out a sound, then I started noticing my stomach getting hot. Then what drew the line was that one of them sounded like she was starting up a engine..smelled like one too. I couldn't take it anymore my dick got soft and she got mad. I tried to fuck a couple times after that but it was the same ol' shit and it smelled like it too. My boys clowned me for months. I knew it was to good to be true besides the bitch was crazy she has a gas problem.
ROTFLMAO who farts while fucking that's disgusting
Friday, May 29, 2009
Mus-Stank
ROTFLMAO @ this story it took me a while to try and edit it cause this one was funny as hell.
I call this one "MUS-STANK"
I have learned my lesson. I am never meeting a guy on the over the Internet ever again. Okay this is how it all started Two yrs ago my friends with they old asses talked me in to setting up a Myspace page. At first I wasn't really in to it that much cause really I had better things to do with my life. Long story short this little nice looking 21 yr old guy started sending me messages so I added him and we started chatting. We exchanged yahoo messenger names and took the converts over there and I learned that we actually stay like 10 mins away from each other and thats when he started asking can he come and pay me a visit before that moment I had never told him my age by the way yall at that time I was 37 and once again he was 21 and I had a 16 yr old daughter so you know that him coming to my house was out of the question. So I decieded to go to his apartment. Okay , when I stepped in to his apt me I was like wow this is clean for a guy that stays by hisself but the moment that thought came in my head was as quick as it left cause the rancid smell from his apartment hit my nose so hard I was like what the hell. Like a fool I stayed. So we went and sat down on his couch and started watching a movie and this lil nigga tried that yawn lift arm up and then place it on the girl shoulder move. I started laughing cause i remembered that he was only 21,but then that thought was taken away from me because i started smelling a new smell. Little guy must have skipped like 5 days with out deodarent cause he was so musty lik bum on the side of the road musty plus he thought that it was good to lean in for a kiss and OMG! his breath smelled like straight GETBACK* breath by that time i was through with him I politely told him "Look you knew that I was coming over you couldnt have sprayed some air freshner in your house lit some incense matter of fact put some deordarant or something?" he started laughing said my bad be right back. Why o' Why didn't I leave when he went to go freshing his stanking ass up. This nasty as nigga came back out from the shower and dropped his towel and said "Come on let's fuck!, but wait! is my dick too small?". I got out of his apartment so quick sped my ass back to my house, hopped my ass in the shower almost considered burning my clothes cause they had the esscense of funk on them and then I politly called him up and said "look don't ever call or try to make any form of contact to me ever again." a couple of months later I was at the Wal-Mart with my 10 yr old son and Mus-Stank was there. He actually made sure that I noticed him.When I saw him i spoke and walked off FAST.
*GETBACK Breath- stank ass breath that when it smell hits you it makes you wan get the hell back from the persons face
okay okay dudes just like you want us ladies to be all smelling fresh for yall imma need yall to be doing the same it aint nothing like a sexy ass nigga that smelling all good from head to toe.
I call this one "MUS-STANK"
I have learned my lesson. I am never meeting a guy on the over the Internet ever again. Okay this is how it all started Two yrs ago my friends with they old asses talked me in to setting up a Myspace page. At first I wasn't really in to it that much cause really I had better things to do with my life. Long story short this little nice looking 21 yr old guy started sending me messages so I added him and we started chatting. We exchanged yahoo messenger names and took the converts over there and I learned that we actually stay like 10 mins away from each other and thats when he started asking can he come and pay me a visit before that moment I had never told him my age by the way yall at that time I was 37 and once again he was 21 and I had a 16 yr old daughter so you know that him coming to my house was out of the question. So I decieded to go to his apartment. Okay , when I stepped in to his apt me I was like wow this is clean for a guy that stays by hisself but the moment that thought came in my head was as quick as it left cause the rancid smell from his apartment hit my nose so hard I was like what the hell. Like a fool I stayed. So we went and sat down on his couch and started watching a movie and this lil nigga tried that yawn lift arm up and then place it on the girl shoulder move. I started laughing cause i remembered that he was only 21,but then that thought was taken away from me because i started smelling a new smell. Little guy must have skipped like 5 days with out deodarent cause he was so musty lik bum on the side of the road musty plus he thought that it was good to lean in for a kiss and OMG! his breath smelled like straight GETBACK* breath by that time i was through with him I politely told him "Look you knew that I was coming over you couldnt have sprayed some air freshner in your house lit some incense matter of fact put some deordarant or something?" he started laughing said my bad be right back. Why o' Why didn't I leave when he went to go freshing his stanking ass up. This nasty as nigga came back out from the shower and dropped his towel and said "Come on let's fuck!, but wait! is my dick too small?". I got out of his apartment so quick sped my ass back to my house, hopped my ass in the shower almost considered burning my clothes cause they had the esscense of funk on them and then I politly called him up and said "look don't ever call or try to make any form of contact to me ever again." a couple of months later I was at the Wal-Mart with my 10 yr old son and Mus-Stank was there. He actually made sure that I noticed him.When I saw him i spoke and walked off FAST.
*GETBACK Breath- stank ass breath that when it smell hits you it makes you wan get the hell back from the persons face
okay okay dudes just like you want us ladies to be all smelling fresh for yall imma need yall to be doing the same it aint nothing like a sexy ass nigga that smelling all good from head to toe.
HMMMMMM!!!!
Ladies and Gentlemen this shit right HURRR is not nor will ever be sexy, but I am sure that some of ya'll ghetto divas think a nigga grinding in some tight ass red draws is sexy. I on teh other hand thinks that this is a little fruity all dem rappers he called out to come "Grind" against him were prolly looking at this shit like "WTF! is this nigga on", but like i to just say for those who called that career suicide.I'll order my pretty ricky cd online cause i don't wanna step on ya'll toes while standing in line for ya'll cd
Monday, May 25, 2009
Skate Away
Well being that I have only had this blog for only 24 hours my mailbox is flooded with stories. Some have had me ROTFLMAO all damn day. Keep them coming.
This story is titled "Skate Away"
Lemme start off by telling you that just cause a man can dance has killer moves don't mean that they can fuck. I was visiting my sister a couple of summers back in ATL and we went skating one night. before we got there my sister was told me that the skating rinks in Ga. ain't nothing like the ones back home in TX. They take skating hella serious in Ga. Well she urged me to get dressed up like I was going to the club and shit. When I got to the rink I knew exactly why. I tell no lie these nikkas was dressed like they was bout to do the damn thing like it was the Source awards and shit. The inside wasn't less glam either it was like stepping into that T.I movie ATL. People had dance routines while skating movies like Roll Bounce and ATL were honestly the only time that I seen shit like that go down in a rink. Well upon getting my skates I bumped in to this fine ass chocolate brother about 6'2 well you know the rest. We said our excuse mes and left it at that. I say about and hour later I'm leaning over the wall dancing to the music Skater Boi comes up to me and asked me did I want to skate. When I told him no he decided to sit and chat but that was cut short cause I guess the song that him and his boys had a routine to came on and my hater ass sister was ready to go, but before we left he gave me his number and name and told me to call him at 2am. Y'all know that I did only cause I wanted someone to hang wit while Iwas up there.
After like 2 days of talking on the phone we finally met up again and we hung out. He took me back to his house and right then and there i knew what time it was(glad i drove my sisters car). Before we got into it he starts giving me this Male Stripper dance show I have to admit it had me hot until the draws came a crashing down. Though he had a long dick that shit was skinny like a carrot. Ladies, before I go on remember this a man that can't eat pussy is a sure sign that he can't fuck..This guy I say lick my shit like 3 times and called that eating pussy and these weren't good licks it was like he was licking a lemon real fast. So he was hinted to me that he wanted me to suck his dick, of course by pushing my head down there and when I got up on it that shit smelled like straight up fish I wanted to throw up so I prayed and kissed it like I didn't know what to do hoping that he would get frustrated and make me stop. He did! Sometimes I wished that I never did stop cause one he tried to hit it raw giving me that lame ass excuse " I can't feel it with a condom on" NO, NO BOO BOO I don't fuck like that. So after I pulled out the condom from my purse he gets mad and puts it on and get into me. I say I gave him 3 free strokes to get it right and he didn't. I was pissed in the middle of his 4th stroke I politely asked him to get off me he went in for a 5th and I pushed him off and got my clothes got dressed and left. For the next 3 days he left me with so many hate messages it wasn't even funny
WOW I GUESS IT TRUE YOU CAN'T JUDGE A MANS SEX GAME BY THE WAY HE SKATES
This story is titled "Skate Away"
Lemme start off by telling you that just cause a man can dance has killer moves don't mean that they can fuck. I was visiting my sister a couple of summers back in ATL and we went skating one night. before we got there my sister was told me that the skating rinks in Ga. ain't nothing like the ones back home in TX. They take skating hella serious in Ga. Well she urged me to get dressed up like I was going to the club and shit. When I got to the rink I knew exactly why. I tell no lie these nikkas was dressed like they was bout to do the damn thing like it was the Source awards and shit. The inside wasn't less glam either it was like stepping into that T.I movie ATL. People had dance routines while skating movies like Roll Bounce and ATL were honestly the only time that I seen shit like that go down in a rink. Well upon getting my skates I bumped in to this fine ass chocolate brother about 6'2 well you know the rest. We said our excuse mes and left it at that. I say about and hour later I'm leaning over the wall dancing to the music Skater Boi comes up to me and asked me did I want to skate. When I told him no he decided to sit and chat but that was cut short cause I guess the song that him and his boys had a routine to came on and my hater ass sister was ready to go, but before we left he gave me his number and name and told me to call him at 2am. Y'all know that I did only cause I wanted someone to hang wit while Iwas up there.
After like 2 days of talking on the phone we finally met up again and we hung out. He took me back to his house and right then and there i knew what time it was(glad i drove my sisters car). Before we got into it he starts giving me this Male Stripper dance show I have to admit it had me hot until the draws came a crashing down. Though he had a long dick that shit was skinny like a carrot. Ladies, before I go on remember this a man that can't eat pussy is a sure sign that he can't fuck..This guy I say lick my shit like 3 times and called that eating pussy and these weren't good licks it was like he was licking a lemon real fast. So he was hinted to me that he wanted me to suck his dick, of course by pushing my head down there and when I got up on it that shit smelled like straight up fish I wanted to throw up so I prayed and kissed it like I didn't know what to do hoping that he would get frustrated and make me stop. He did! Sometimes I wished that I never did stop cause one he tried to hit it raw giving me that lame ass excuse " I can't feel it with a condom on" NO, NO BOO BOO I don't fuck like that. So after I pulled out the condom from my purse he gets mad and puts it on and get into me. I say I gave him 3 free strokes to get it right and he didn't. I was pissed in the middle of his 4th stroke I politely asked him to get off me he went in for a 5th and I pushed him off and got my clothes got dressed and left. For the next 3 days he left me with so many hate messages it wasn't even funny
WOW I GUESS IT TRUE YOU CAN'T JUDGE A MANS SEX GAME BY THE WAY HE SKATES
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