ROTFLMAO @ this story it took me a while to try and edit it cause this one was funny as hell.
I call this one "MUS-STANK"
I have learned my lesson. I am never meeting a guy on the over the Internet ever again. Okay this is how it all started Two yrs ago my friends with they old asses talked me in to setting up a Myspace page. At first I wasn't really in to it that much cause really I had better things to do with my life. Long story short this little nice looking 21 yr old guy started sending me messages so I added him and we started chatting. We exchanged yahoo messenger names and took the converts over there and I learned that we actually stay like 10 mins away from each other and thats when he started asking can he come and pay me a visit before that moment I had never told him my age by the way yall at that time I was 37 and once again he was 21 and I had a 16 yr old daughter so you know that him coming to my house was out of the question. So I decieded to go to his apartment. Okay , when I stepped in to his apt me I was like wow this is clean for a guy that stays by hisself but the moment that thought came in my head was as quick as it left cause the rancid smell from his apartment hit my nose so hard I was like what the hell. Like a fool I stayed. So we went and sat down on his couch and started watching a movie and this lil nigga tried that yawn lift arm up and then place it on the girl shoulder move. I started laughing cause i remembered that he was only 21,but then that thought was taken away from me because i started smelling a new smell. Little guy must have skipped like 5 days with out deodarent cause he was so musty lik bum on the side of the road musty plus he thought that it was good to lean in for a kiss and OMG! his breath smelled like straight GETBACK* breath by that time i was through with him I politely told him "Look you knew that I was coming over you couldnt have sprayed some air freshner in your house lit some incense matter of fact put some deordarant or something?" he started laughing said my bad be right back. Why o' Why didn't I leave when he went to go freshing his stanking ass up. This nasty as nigga came back out from the shower and dropped his towel and said "Come on let's fuck!, but wait! is my dick too small?". I got out of his apartment so quick sped my ass back to my house, hopped my ass in the shower almost considered burning my clothes cause they had the esscense of funk on them and then I politly called him up and said "look don't ever call or try to make any form of contact to me ever again." a couple of months later I was at the Wal-Mart with my 10 yr old son and Mus-Stank was there. He actually made sure that I noticed him.When I saw him i spoke and walked off FAST.
*GETBACK Breath- stank ass breath that when it smell hits you it makes you wan get the hell back from the persons face
okay okay dudes just like you want us ladies to be all smelling fresh for yall imma need yall to be doing the same it aint nothing like a sexy ass nigga that smelling all good from head to toe.
Friday, May 29, 2009
HMMMMMM!!!!
Ladies and Gentlemen this shit right HURRR is not nor will ever be sexy, but I am sure that some of ya'll ghetto divas think a nigga grinding in some tight ass red draws is sexy. I on teh other hand thinks that this is a little fruity all dem rappers he called out to come "Grind" against him were prolly looking at this shit like "WTF! is this nigga on", but like i to just say for those who called that career suicide.I'll order my pretty ricky cd online cause i don't wanna step on ya'll toes while standing in line for ya'll cd
Monday, May 25, 2009
Skate Away
Well being that I have only had this blog for only 24 hours my mailbox is flooded with stories. Some have had me ROTFLMAO all damn day. Keep them coming.
This story is titled "Skate Away"
Lemme start off by telling you that just cause a man can dance has killer moves don't mean that they can fuck. I was visiting my sister a couple of summers back in ATL and we went skating one night. before we got there my sister was told me that the skating rinks in Ga. ain't nothing like the ones back home in TX. They take skating hella serious in Ga. Well she urged me to get dressed up like I was going to the club and shit. When I got to the rink I knew exactly why. I tell no lie these nikkas was dressed like they was bout to do the damn thing like it was the Source awards and shit. The inside wasn't less glam either it was like stepping into that T.I movie ATL. People had dance routines while skating movies like Roll Bounce and ATL were honestly the only time that I seen shit like that go down in a rink. Well upon getting my skates I bumped in to this fine ass chocolate brother about 6'2 well you know the rest. We said our excuse mes and left it at that. I say about and hour later I'm leaning over the wall dancing to the music Skater Boi comes up to me and asked me did I want to skate. When I told him no he decided to sit and chat but that was cut short cause I guess the song that him and his boys had a routine to came on and my hater ass sister was ready to go, but before we left he gave me his number and name and told me to call him at 2am. Y'all know that I did only cause I wanted someone to hang wit while Iwas up there.
After like 2 days of talking on the phone we finally met up again and we hung out. He took me back to his house and right then and there i knew what time it was(glad i drove my sisters car). Before we got into it he starts giving me this Male Stripper dance show I have to admit it had me hot until the draws came a crashing down. Though he had a long dick that shit was skinny like a carrot. Ladies, before I go on remember this a man that can't eat pussy is a sure sign that he can't fuck..This guy I say lick my shit like 3 times and called that eating pussy and these weren't good licks it was like he was licking a lemon real fast. So he was hinted to me that he wanted me to suck his dick, of course by pushing my head down there and when I got up on it that shit smelled like straight up fish I wanted to throw up so I prayed and kissed it like I didn't know what to do hoping that he would get frustrated and make me stop. He did! Sometimes I wished that I never did stop cause one he tried to hit it raw giving me that lame ass excuse " I can't feel it with a condom on" NO, NO BOO BOO I don't fuck like that. So after I pulled out the condom from my purse he gets mad and puts it on and get into me. I say I gave him 3 free strokes to get it right and he didn't. I was pissed in the middle of his 4th stroke I politely asked him to get off me he went in for a 5th and I pushed him off and got my clothes got dressed and left. For the next 3 days he left me with so many hate messages it wasn't even funny
WOW I GUESS IT TRUE YOU CAN'T JUDGE A MANS SEX GAME BY THE WAY HE SKATES
This story is titled "Skate Away"
Lemme start off by telling you that just cause a man can dance has killer moves don't mean that they can fuck. I was visiting my sister a couple of summers back in ATL and we went skating one night. before we got there my sister was told me that the skating rinks in Ga. ain't nothing like the ones back home in TX. They take skating hella serious in Ga. Well she urged me to get dressed up like I was going to the club and shit. When I got to the rink I knew exactly why. I tell no lie these nikkas was dressed like they was bout to do the damn thing like it was the Source awards and shit. The inside wasn't less glam either it was like stepping into that T.I movie ATL. People had dance routines while skating movies like Roll Bounce and ATL were honestly the only time that I seen shit like that go down in a rink. Well upon getting my skates I bumped in to this fine ass chocolate brother about 6'2 well you know the rest. We said our excuse mes and left it at that. I say about and hour later I'm leaning over the wall dancing to the music Skater Boi comes up to me and asked me did I want to skate. When I told him no he decided to sit and chat but that was cut short cause I guess the song that him and his boys had a routine to came on and my hater ass sister was ready to go, but before we left he gave me his number and name and told me to call him at 2am. Y'all know that I did only cause I wanted someone to hang wit while Iwas up there.
After like 2 days of talking on the phone we finally met up again and we hung out. He took me back to his house and right then and there i knew what time it was(glad i drove my sisters car). Before we got into it he starts giving me this Male Stripper dance show I have to admit it had me hot until the draws came a crashing down. Though he had a long dick that shit was skinny like a carrot. Ladies, before I go on remember this a man that can't eat pussy is a sure sign that he can't fuck..This guy I say lick my shit like 3 times and called that eating pussy and these weren't good licks it was like he was licking a lemon real fast. So he was hinted to me that he wanted me to suck his dick, of course by pushing my head down there and when I got up on it that shit smelled like straight up fish I wanted to throw up so I prayed and kissed it like I didn't know what to do hoping that he would get frustrated and make me stop. He did! Sometimes I wished that I never did stop cause one he tried to hit it raw giving me that lame ass excuse " I can't feel it with a condom on" NO, NO BOO BOO I don't fuck like that. So after I pulled out the condom from my purse he gets mad and puts it on and get into me. I say I gave him 3 free strokes to get it right and he didn't. I was pissed in the middle of his 4th stroke I politely asked him to get off me he went in for a 5th and I pushed him off and got my clothes got dressed and left. For the next 3 days he left me with so many hate messages it wasn't even funny
WOW I GUESS IT TRUE YOU CAN'T JUDGE A MANS SEX GAME BY THE WAY HE SKATES
Just A Touch On The Knee
Wow so I have my 1st official tale. This is coming from a chick in a small North Carolina town
Wassup Story . I'm not going to put dude real name out there cause he is well known in the town that we stay in up here in North Carolina. Well it was the summer of 01 and my cousin and i was chilling at dudes house with him and his friend who I'm just going to label as "Peaches" cause his teeth looked like they can open up a can of peaches. Any way i guess the dude that we would name Nutty J White was horny as hell cause he was coming on to both my cousin and I. My cousin wasn't feeling him though. When I said that dude must have been horny I'm serious and the fact that we were playing around with him didn't help. When he noticed that my cousin wasn't gonna give it up he set after me so I was like cool cause I hadn't been laid in a hot minute and he was kinda cute. My cousin stepped out of the room to give Nutty and I some space so we can get it on. I mean during the 5 mins of foreplay he was telling me about how he was gonna put it on me and make me scream, how it was gonna be the best dick I had ever had. Well I was sitting there with a smile on my face like "okay shut the fuck up and take it out". Well I have to say I wasn't disappointed at the size of his dick cause it was a good size and I knew that it wasn't gonna be a problem working with I was disappointed cause this grown ass man had on a pair of fucking tighty whities and some tube socks. Sooooo, it was finally time for him to get to work on me and at his request he told me to get on top. Well, I do this thing were i seductively crawl up a guys body and well I guess he was liking it a lot cause the moment i touched his knee the NIGGA CAME HARD AND LOUD and was shaking and shivering like he was having a seizure or something actually that is what I thought was happening ! I was like AHH HELL NAH" I was so mad that dude tried to keep my quite wanting me to lay down so that he can eat me out until it got back hard. I had totally lost my high and was like naw. I went in his bathroom put my clothes on and when I came out he was standing at the door blocking it asking can he ask me for a favor at that time I wasn't in to sucking dick and he knew it but I just had to know what was up. This busta gon ask me to not tell my cousin and no one else about what happened,but it was too late when I walked out the room my cousin had already known what happen. And till this day when we see him he is always trying to have a second chance with me all I can say is "HELL NAH"
WOW DUDE MUST HAVE BEEN MAD HORNY TO CUM FROM JUST A TOUCH OF THE KNEE
Wassup Story . I'm not going to put dude real name out there cause he is well known in the town that we stay in up here in North Carolina. Well it was the summer of 01 and my cousin and i was chilling at dudes house with him and his friend who I'm just going to label as "Peaches" cause his teeth looked like they can open up a can of peaches. Any way i guess the dude that we would name Nutty J White was horny as hell cause he was coming on to both my cousin and I. My cousin wasn't feeling him though. When I said that dude must have been horny I'm serious and the fact that we were playing around with him didn't help. When he noticed that my cousin wasn't gonna give it up he set after me so I was like cool cause I hadn't been laid in a hot minute and he was kinda cute. My cousin stepped out of the room to give Nutty and I some space so we can get it on. I mean during the 5 mins of foreplay he was telling me about how he was gonna put it on me and make me scream, how it was gonna be the best dick I had ever had. Well I was sitting there with a smile on my face like "okay shut the fuck up and take it out". Well I have to say I wasn't disappointed at the size of his dick cause it was a good size and I knew that it wasn't gonna be a problem working with I was disappointed cause this grown ass man had on a pair of fucking tighty whities and some tube socks. Sooooo, it was finally time for him to get to work on me and at his request he told me to get on top. Well, I do this thing were i seductively crawl up a guys body and well I guess he was liking it a lot cause the moment i touched his knee the NIGGA CAME HARD AND LOUD and was shaking and shivering like he was having a seizure or something actually that is what I thought was happening ! I was like AHH HELL NAH" I was so mad that dude tried to keep my quite wanting me to lay down so that he can eat me out until it got back hard. I had totally lost my high and was like naw. I went in his bathroom put my clothes on and when I came out he was standing at the door blocking it asking can he ask me for a favor at that time I wasn't in to sucking dick and he knew it but I just had to know what was up. This busta gon ask me to not tell my cousin and no one else about what happened,but it was too late when I walked out the room my cousin had already known what happen. And till this day when we see him he is always trying to have a second chance with me all I can say is "HELL NAH"
WOW DUDE MUST HAVE BEEN MAD HORNY TO CUM FROM JUST A TOUCH OF THE KNEE
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Welcome to Kiss And Tale
have you ever been with a person that talked themselves up on their sex game and you just had to have them and when you finally had that sex with them it wasnt exactly what they told you it was..okay it was no where near what they hyped it up to be and you just wish that it was that one girl or guy that pulled you to the side and said " HEY! THAT NIGGA IS WACK OR THAT HOE HEAD GAME IS WAY OFF" i know that i have. Or if you have had that bomb sex with a guy/girl and you want to yell it from the moutain top well that's why i came up with this blog so that there will be sort of refferal guide to whos wack and whos not.
email me your stories to:
kiss_and_tell79@yahoo.com
please no made up stories and no drama if you wack than you wack its as simple as that
email me your stories to:
kiss_and_tell79@yahoo.com
please no made up stories and no drama if you wack than you wack its as simple as that
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
