Great Expectations

Now all the ladies and fellas really need to read this one. This is the reason why I made this blog.
I titled this one "Great EXPECTATIONS"


OHHHH I hate a dude that talks the talk but can't walk the walk. It all started a couple of yrs ago when I met dude on the Internet though he and I went to high school together and he claimed he knew me I never knew him. Well yrs of talking to each other over the net. He would tell me about how he was the king ding-a-ling and he laid this and that girl down. Me being the freak that I am was ready able and willing to see if this was all true. SOOOOOOO! We finally decided to meet up one night, though sex wasn't on my mind I wasn't ruling it out. Well I got to his house everything was cool we sat and talked for a little while. He asked me for a kiss and i thought that it was sooo sweet and it was good i have to admit dude can kiss. So we decided to move things to to his room. That's my people is when the MAGIC happen (well at least i thought it was). We keep kissing and started undressing . LOL when dude dropped his pants all i could think about was those crayons that you get in art class back in elementary.You know them fat crayons well his dick was actual size. Can you say disappointed!!!! So we started off Missionary style.Who the fuck does that shit 1st that song virgin shit. To make matters worst dude couldn't find it. I'm not fat at all the most fat i have on me is in my ass. So how could he not find. I started thinking that maybe it was his 1st, I mean missionary position he couldn't find the hole. He asked me to ride but I told him no so he flipped me over to hit it from the back and he was complaining about my height *side note* both of us are 5'9) . Okay he finally got in it and as soon as he got in it he made a little sound which let me know that he came. In my mind I was like WTF!!. After it was over I sat and chilled with him for a little while longer than I left. We still talk and he wants to have sex again but I was traumatized from it and have yet to bring myself to tell him. And he still talks about how he did this girl and that girl I just sit back and shake my head cause I know the truth.

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What Was That!!

LOL so far all the stories I'm getting are basically basically bashing men and they sex performances but I actually have one about a girl.. I call this one What Was That?

When I meet chick everything was perfect I decided to take it slow. She was special real cute red-bone 5'5 thick as hell. Damn she was fine! I was seriously trying to wife her, but it was just to damn perfect she had to have a flaw. Besides the fact that the bitch was crazy and some what of a stalker. She had what I called a let go problem. Just so ya'll ladies don't start hating on a brother I left her because she was crazy. Yeah so the 1st time we had sex. She gave me brains like it was no tomorrow so It was all fair that I gave her some face time. So, I'm down there doing my thing and I hear this noise.I know sometimes when you keep poking in the hole it gets air pockets and make noises it queefs. So I decided to continue, I got back in the groove and I'd be damn if it didn't happen again. But this time I asked her if she was farting and she assured me no she wasn't. I went along and started tearing that ass up from the back and it seemed like every time I went in it she would let out a sound, then I started noticing my stomach getting hot. Then what drew the line was that one of them sounded like she was starting up a engine..smelled like one too. I couldn't take it anymore my dick got soft and she got mad. I tried to fuck a couple times after that but it was the same ol' shit and it smelled like it too. My boys clowned me for months. I knew it was to good to be true besides the bitch was crazy she has a gas problem.


ROTFLMAO who farts while fucking that's disgusting